Conservatives Attack Taco Bell for pushing Liberal Mexican Breakfast Agenda!

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Well no not really, but Taco Bell is adding a breakfast menu!

In my opinion it’s about fucking time, however it might be a little late in the game. The breakfast market has been dominated by pretty much everyone else. So for them to penetrate the already over saturated market is going to be a bitch. Not to mention the fact that nobody knows what a Mexican breakfast is supposed to be or if it’s any good. So now Taco Bell has to not only infiltrate the fast food breakfast market, but create a new niche at the same time. All this after every other fast food company has gotten massive market share…yeah seems like a bullet proof plan Taco Bell!

What is interesting to me is that it seems like selling breakfast was just a concept that didn’t make sense. But, for some reason the executives realized that they could sell morning food just as much as evening food and make money in the morning… and the evening. Holy Shit Batman!

So why it took the fast food industry 55 years to figure this out and Taco Bell 60 years is beyond me. Oh and by the way, Kudos to McDonald’s who set the trend by selling fast food breakfast in 1971. Sausage Egg McMuffin with Cheese…Guess what? Still fucking awesome! The only problem is that I can’t get one any time after 10am, or is it 10:30am? Fuck I don’t know, it seems like they stop selling them 3 minutes before I arrive, every time.

I do not know what’s more incredible, the fact that it took Taco Bell until the year 2012 to begin selling breakfast or the fact it’s even selling breakfast at all. Taco Bell sells Mexican food, and when I think of Mexican Food, I certainly do not think of Breakfast. In fact Mexican food is the penultimate type of food that I think of when it comes to breakfast (Chinese is #1). Although I love a good breakfast burrito as much as the next guy, breakfast and Mexican food just are not that synonymous.

So now it’s 2012 and Taco Bell is the very last fast food restaurant to jump on the breakfast bandwagon. What is so funny is that they cautiously approached this idea, and spent 5 years thinking this out. 5 fucking years! That meant they started thinking about the foreign concept of “breakfast” back in 2007 (Most likely ordered by President Bush). So with five years to work on just one thing I would expect something so fucking amazing that it would change the whole fast food game right? Well …No…

When I saw the menu I was really disappointed. My first thought was “Really Taco Bell? 5 years and this is the best you could come up with?”

I could see behind the marketing bullshit and the hype to know what they really did.

SPOILER ALERT!

If you would rather not know the secret behind Taco Bells Breakfast menu then just click on another article here at Slang Strong I suggest maybe The YouTube Channels of the Week.

So this is Taco Bells Dirty Little Secret about the breakfast menu. Basically Taco Bell executives looked at the menu and said how can we come up with a breakfast menu and still keep costs down? Well this is how they did it, all they did was take all the already existing ingredients from their lunch and dinner menu, literally just add eggs and sausage. And Viola! Look it’s a new breakfast menu!

Don’t believe me? Here is the Grande Skillet Burrito.

All they did was use a regular tortilla, take their potatoes from their cheesy fiesta potatoes, take their fresco salsa, and THEN throw in the secret magic breakfast ingredients

Egg and Sausage!!!

Voila! A Breakfast Burrito!

Now granted I love cheesy fiesta potatoes, and the burrito is probably decent but after five years of planning I expect more. But at the same time, I just say to myself it’s Taco Bell. Oh by the way if any of you Taco Bell Executives actually read this. Just know that public perception of the quality of your food is going down. Don’t expect Brad Pitt or George Clooney to endorse this anytime soon. Although you may still be able to get Lindsey Lohan or Tom Green to slang two bit excuse for Mexican food. My bum is on your breakfast! My bum is on your breakfast!

Taco Bell, Seriously hire me to add shit to your menu. I could have done this work in 3 months not 5 years. If I had the power I would change just a couple of things and then you executive ass holes could sit back and watch your profits explode! But no… instead you recycle the same ole’ swill offering customers the same garbage you’ve been offering them for the past however-man-years-Taco-Bell-has-been-around. That’s fine Del Taco has got a good breakfast menu too.

Bottom Line: Taco Bell added a Breakfast Menu, and to no surprise it meets Taco Bell Standards.